walt

quote of the day::

"She believed in dreams, all right, but she also believed in doing something about them. When Prince Charming didn't come along, she went over to the palace and got him."

- Walt Disney, speaking of Cinderella in 1949.

yo.

so...

i hate being alone

and most people would agree

i mean, except for the rare handful that like having alone time...

i am most definitely not one of those people

i turn into eeyore

its rediculous really

i never know what to do with myself

i just get so lonely and sad and blahh

today is better

even though im still alone...

it only gets crappy in the evening time

"I might have known," said Eeyore. "After all, one can't complain. I have my friends. Somebody spoke to me only yesterday. And was it last week or the week before that Rabbit bumped into me and said 'Bother!'. The Social Round. Always something going on."

in other news...

I started nutrisystems a few days ago

i havent quite been on it a week...

its going okay

its just going to be hard to stick with it

i have to though

i dont want to be the "chubby friend" anymore blah

that's all for now

byee

wow.

so much stuff going on lately.

jared each day is hating me more and more and it makes me wish our situation was so much different than it is. maybe he will end up just cutting me out of his life. it will be better for him anyways, as much as he says he doesnt want that.

im sorry. for everything.

i am also starting nutrisystems today.

i got all the food last night

its overwhelming because the whole months worth of food shows up on one day.

so thats what im doing today sorting them into meals.

AND washing all the dishes my roommate left for me to do while she goes back home for the rest of the week

she treats me like her house keeper. and this is the last time i will ever wash her dishes.

so starting today april 2 i start working on a new me.

wish me luck

=/

I broke an amazing guy's heart today...

i dont have words...

other than

im sorry.

please forgive me.

headache

just got home from my job interview

it went well

we had to stand up and act like goofballs

which was fun

and now im sitting around just waiting for 7:30 to come around

because at 8:30 i have an audition for the musical

Once Upon A Mattress

im excited for that and really hope i get in

thats it really.

im gonna go rest my brain

and maybe my headache will go away

peace

bleh

CAUTION:: the following contains a lot of whining and complaining

bleh.

i dont feel good today

and i used this moisturizing conditioner today

and now it just feels like my hair is really greasy.

lame.

and i hate that whenever i start "dieting" i always feel SOOO HUNGRYYY

like seriously SOOO HUNGRY

it hurts.

ugh seriously i ate a turkey sandwich an hour ago and im like dying

blah

well thats some of my whining out.

peace.

thinkthinkthink

a lot of people dont know,

but i have pretty bad anxiety and depression

now, im not posting this information in my blog for sympathy

or pity, i HATE pity

but this blog is merely one of my outlets

so seeing as these are some of my everyday struggles

im going to post about it

it had never crossed my mind that i might have a problem with anxiety

although i knew i had some pretty bad depression

so recently i have started going t some therapy

and that is where it was explained to me

that anxiety tends to go hand in hand with depression

lucky me!

and its only within the last few months

that these two have started affecting how i live my life

hence the reason i am seeking help

i feel crazy a lot of the time

because i thought everyone felt and thought things i do

surprise courtney you're a freakkk

hah no but in all seriousness

it isnt helping me feel as though im less of an outsider

blah

thats it for now

peace

morning

RANDOM PHOTO OF THE POST!>>

"baby platypuses!!!"

so as of lately i have been finding it more and more difficult to drag myself out of bed.

i will think i am waking up only to roll over and the next thing i know its 3 hours later

i dont really know why i am so tired

because i dont really do anything so ... who knows

in other news

i'm going to my friend kasi's cabaret concert thing tonight

should be fun

even though i have nothing to wear... blah

also,

in about 2 weeks i will be hopefully be starting nutrisystems...

hopefully that helps

because i have gained a lot of weight since i graduated

hich does nothing to help he with my self image or anything

thats it for now

peace.

told-ya-so

<<

"awww so flippin ka-yute!"

so.. i havent written in a while... i knew this would happen...

anyways...

the highlight of my week was getting my but out of the house ALONE.

and what you may be asking yourself was i going to do?

i went to the dr phil show.

duh.

got a whopping $18

and thats pretty much it.

peace.

so...

so, at this very moment i am bored out of my mind... and the only thing there really is to do right now are the dishes that are in the kitchen sink, which i refuse to wash because i am ALWAYS the one to wash the dishes... sooo annyoying.

rosa and carla came over last night to chill with taylor and i and we had some good giggles and tonight rosa is coming over again which shall be fun.

in other news...

i still need a job, like desperately. i keep applying to places but things never go through blah to that

anywho... short blog post today

but as of now no one reads them anywayyy

so bye bye no one.

hello.

welcome to my first post random strangers who may be reading at this very moment...

and incase any of my friends are reading... hello

this is like my kazillionth (yes its a word) attempt

at starting a blog.

we'll se how well this works out haha

bye for now =]